Dr. Suess Would Be Jealous

The Woes of a Diner Whiner



“Pepsi, Pepsi, two Cokes and a Sprite—

And as for you hun, what’s your delight?”

Faced with a feeling of complexity,

I shrug my shoulders and say, “iced tea.”



She gives me a look and I feel deflated

I ordered the only drink that’s not carbonated.

It’s not any more difficult to get than the tonic

However, ordering different than the rest of the family is a bit ironic.



Now I know Mr. Cook, that is not real irony,

But for the sake of the story just let it be.

This tale is not one of literary merit you know,

It’s a rhyme about how family makes your identity grow.



So let’s head back to the dilemma at the table

Where I was sitting with the “loser” tag I was sure to be labeled.

As the waitress bounced away, our order in hand

I waited for everyone’s reaction for I knew it would be grand.



To my surprise as I looked up at their faces

Not a look of dismay or any disgusted traces.

“I’ve made it out of this one,” I thought with force,

That is until the waitress came back for the main course.



Everyone in my family got some kind of fish

And before I knew it, it was my turn to order a dish.

When I didn’t ask for haddock but Rosemary Chicken,

I got a look from that girl like I was gunna get a licken.



Taking a look around as I did before

I realized that my family didn’t care they weren’t keeping score.

I didn’t think I was the type to lose my head

But this chick kept making me feel like I was going to be dead.



It was not the issue of ordering the certain kind of food

But the way she looked at me was just plain rude

I knew what she was thinking, “she’s the odd ball out

She must not be a member of the family, no doubt.”



The truth of the matter was she kind of got to me

Did I belong with this group; was a branch on the tree?

Before I had time to delve further into that proposal

My sisters started talking about the kitchen disposal.





Of course we were all hungry so the talk revolved around chow

And I knew I had to say something I just didn’t know how.

I was about to pipe up when the appetizers arrived

Extra Spicy Buffalo wings, what a surprise.



My oldest sister ate hers without Blu Cheese,

The youngest inhaled hers almost hands free.

Kelly ate the celery with every bite,

And it came to me and I felt kind of uptight.



I did not like Extra Spicy Buffalo wings at all,

And I felt if I were any more different I would fall.

As the tears almost welled up, Kelly said to me,

“Here have this one I made it sauce free.”



Not a surprised look on anyone’s mug

As I looked at the wing and gave it a tug.

I chewed and chewed it was so delicious

And wouldn’t ya know it I no longer felt vicious.



I looked around and realized everyone was a little quirky,

My sister Halli got her salmon with a side of beef jerky.

Tess refused to eat her shrimp without white wine sauce,

And without ketchup my mom was at a loss.



I was not so weird for ordering that Iced Tea

Nor was it strange to like chicken with rosemary.

My family loved me and knew all my funny ways,

I was just too distracted to realize it I was in a haze.



It is through this story I have understood

That self is not defined through your familial hood.

Those around you will always help to influence self,

But they will never make you something you’re not, just look at the movie ELF.



Thanks for taking the time to listen to this tale

And next time I’ll think twice and maybe order a ginger ale.

On second thought I still don’t like bubbles,

And ordering an iced tea with my family will never cause trouble.